The Clinton campaigned has contracted with an undisclosed veterinary school in an effort to breed pterodactyls so she can have her own bird—just like Bernie—by the time the Democratic Convention starts this summer in Philadelphia.
Sources close to the Clinton camp would not disclose the name of the school, but did say they were using turtle eggs as incubators—somewhat like in the movie, “Jurassic Park.”
“We have made progress,” said the staffer. “We can’t use a traditional bird like the house finch that landed on Bernie’s podium, because when we catch one she tries to eat it. From what we’ve been told, the closest thing we can get that will tolerate her—and something she probably won’t try to eat—is a pterodactyl.”
The issue came about back in March when a small cute house finch landed on the stage while Bernie Sanders was speaking in Portland, Oregon. As the crowd pointed out the bird to Bernie, it flew up and landed on his podium—to everyone’s amazement.
“It was wonderful,” said Lori Janan—a Bernie supporter in the northwest. “We were all surprised when the little bird came out of nowhere. It definitely had meaning.”
Watch what happened here: Bernie Sanders’ Bird Scene
A small cute house finch has symbolism for Bernie and his revolution. So, it’s nothing but fair that Hillary should have her own bird–something that matches her style and personality.
Some politicos suggest Hillary has the primary in the bag—but Bernie supporters are quick to point out that California has enough delegates to change the game should Bernie win a significant amount of the state’s 475 Democratic delegates.
This comes off the heels of today’s Maine Democratic Convention vote to remove superdelegates to a single “one person – one vote” commitment.
Filed under Clinton satire: cold blooded pterodactyl satire.